Activities April-June 2016


Wed. April 13—Regular Meeting                             

Sat. April 16—Sorting Ducks at Lion Schmidt’s house—food & beer!

Wed. April 20--Board of Directors Meeting             

Sat. April 23—Lose the Litter Day

 Wed. April 27--Regular Meeting                  

Sat. April 30—Progressive Dinner

Tues, May 3—Red Cross Blood Drive                      

Sat, May 7—Home Front Repair

Wed. May 11—Honan Trull Awards Dinner

Sat. May 14—Flag Day-- Flag Presentation              

Wed. May 18--Board of Directors  

Wed. May 25—Regular Meeting –Installation        

Sat. May 28—Great Pootatuck Duck Race—need all hands

Sun. June 5—Regular Meeting—Ladies Night!        

Wed. June 8—Hospice Breakfast

Sat. June 11—Orchard Hill Clean Up                                   

Wed. June 15—Board of Directors   


                                    President’s Letter April 2016

Fellow Members

        Spring is always a busy time for the Newtown Lions Club. We have many
challenges with getting our Duck Race flowing and getting the Mustang Raffle
on the road along with our many other spring activities. Fortunately, we
have several new members this year which is a big boost to our club. I want
to welcome the new members and look forward to all the contributions they
will bring. Special thanks to those members who brought in the new members.
          We are settling in to her new home at Filet. I am happy they have the
restaurant search behind us and look forward to our enjoying our new meeting
home. Our recent meeting for members and the children had a great program
by Fidelco including two of their beautiful service dogs. That dinner,
however, had relatively few children in attendance to the point where I
think we have evaluate continuing this event in the future.

       This is the time of year for us to come out and enjoy the spring air and the
club offers many ways to accomplish that. Nothing like enjoying the
spring fresh air while selling Duck tickets. That is of course unless you
have the morning shift at the General Store where the fresh morning air is
replaced with the scent of bacon from their breakfast special. Other
opportunities for fresh air are Earth Day, volunteers are needed at the fair
as well as for Lose the Litter cleanup program. We have the Orchard Hill
where we clean up the trails and remove invasive plants and Home Front Day when

we  have a one day blitz repairing a Newtown home.  And, of course, on
Memorial Day Weekend its Duck Race day. That is always a great day and I
feel we are going to have a bright and sunny day for a great race.

        I also look forward to getting together with you at the post Duck Race
party. After all our efforts to make the Duck Race happen, it is great to
get together with Lions and family for a well-deserved celebration. Our
other upcoming social event is the Progressive Dinner at the end of April.
Thanks for all who have opened their homes as hosts and we look forward to a
great night of food and friendship.

       Our car committee has again come up with another sharp looking Mustang for
this year's raffle. With your help we hope for another record breaking
year. Car committee members will focus on taking the car to events through
April and most of May so that the rest of the club can support the Ducks.
Our appreciation goes out to the car committee for all the work they do.

       So - onto the excitement of the spring as we delve into our many projects
and events. I want to thank everyone for their participation as it is really
needed at this time of year. So let's all have a great spring and show what
the Lions can do.

Lion Jim

                                    Science Exam—Real Questions and Real Answers


  1. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
  1. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.


  1. What causes the tides in the ocean?
  1. The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon.  All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon and nature hates a vacuum.  I forget where the sun joins in this fight.


  1. What happens to your body as you age?
  1. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.


  1. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?

A.  He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.


  1. How are the main parts of the body categorized?

A.  The body is consisted into three parts—the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity.  The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the hearts and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contained the five bowels--A, E, I O and U.



Doings of the Pride

The snow birds are gradually returning, depending on whether they went for a month as Dick and Marie  Sturdevant did or six like  Gordon and Betty  Mounts.    Bruce and Jane Landgrebe enjoyed visiting Tom and Evelyn Evagash at their home in The Villages.  Tom reports that he has mostly liked the weather and his time there has passed quickly.  However, he complained that  he didn’t play as much golf as he would have liked.  Paul and Liz Arneth really enjoyed their three months in Venice on the west coast of Florida.  Of particular enjoyment to Paul was the pool which was very near and didn’t necessitate a car ride to get there. With the pool so near by, I bet his strokes improved in their three months. They saw a number of Newtown friends while there including the Sturdevents, the Miklaszeskis  One blemish during their sojourn was the fact that their computer was hacked.  The first they knew of it was when one or two women called Liz asking if she was all right.  Seems they had gotten an email saying that Liz was stranded somewhere in South America and needed funds.  Many of us who received the email  recognized the scam but a few did not and made the calls.   Paul thinks that installation of Mal Ware will take care of the issue.

Not Florida sojourners but at Hilton Head, South Carolina were Walt and Peggy Schweikert and Augie and Donna D’Alesandro. and their wives in early March..  They enjoyed walking on the beach and dining in many of the seafood restaurants on the island.  They took side trips to Charleston and Savannah where they enjoyed being driven around in horse drawn carriages.  One of the highlights of the trip was a tour of Charleston Harbor where they cruised past Ft. Sumpter, the site of the first shots of the Civil War. . . .Andre Iorio returned from a great  week with his son, Matthew, and his three grandchildren, ages six, nine and eleven at Disney World.  Kids had a great time.  Andrew said it was so great that it was hard to get them to bed at night and harder to get them up!  Among the highlights was the Star Wars section.  Two of his grandchildren dressed up as accolades.  Darth  Vadar came out and actually dueled with them.  Another high point was taking the Hogwarts Express, a real train that took everyone to Harry Potter land where there were many exciting things to experience.  A great trip for all!

          Lion Bob Schmidt just celebrated his 10th anniversary as a Newtown Lion.  Many of you might remember how Bob became Lion Bob.  Back in 2004 and 2005 he played for several of our parties (as a singer guitarist) before Jon Christensen invited him to become a member.  Bob saw what a great group of guys the Newtown Lions were, took Jon up on his offer, and the rest is history. 

          Up until his wife Josie retired from teaching at Middle Gate Elementary School, Bob performed as a solo act.   Immediately after she retired Bob put her right to work singing & playing the flute with him and they named their duo, SOLID GOLD TIMES TWO.  The name comes from the fact that they play the solid gold oldies from the 40's to the 80's as well as many current hit songs.  Their daughter, Lauren, made a website where you can see and hear them

           Bob and Josie have been performing at Connecticut vineyards, private parties and most recently at Filet (yes, the place where we now hold our meetings).  They will return to Filet on May 27 and invite you to join the fun.

                                          An Alabama Pastor

      An Alabama pastor said to his congregation, “Someone in this congregation has    spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan.  This is a horrible lie.  I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this.  Now, I want the party who said this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and his Christian family.”

No one moved.

The preached continued, “Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood?  Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart  you will feel better.  Now stand and confess.”

Again, all was quiet.

Then, slowly, a drop dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop a runaway train rose from the third pew.  Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, “Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding.  I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan.  I simply told a couple of my friends  that you were a wizard under the sheets.”

The preacher fell over, the wife fainted and the congregation roared!


The 16th Annual Duck Race is Coming on Saturday May 28
               All Lions are invited to attend and/or help out.

           This year we have over $4,400 in prizes., the most we have ever had.  Duck Race chair, Bob Schmidt is hoping for a record setting year for ticket sales.  He is inviting ALL Lions over to his house from 10:00 to 4:00 on Saturday, April 16 and Sunday April 17 to help sort out the 4,000 ducks.  He will be offering beer, wine, soda and hot dogs. You are welcome to bring family members (grandchildren, children, etc.)

          Bob sent out a call for Lions to help with managing the parking lot entrance.  So far, Jeff Pierce and Walt Schweikert have volunteered, but Bob says he could use two more Lions so that Jeff and Walt don't have to do it all by themselves.  Bob and the committee invite all Lions and their families to come to the Duck Race.  It is just a fun day for everyone.  After the race is over, there will be an "After Party" held at the Congregational Church on West St.  There will be plenty of food and drink (beer, wine and soda) as the party is run by the official party master himself  - Lion George Arfaras.

         In the meantime, Lion Corey is working hard setting up the schedule to sell Duck Race Tickets.  If you have two hours to spare please sign up.  It's fun, it's easy and it's only two hours! 


 New Lions in the Pride

Most of us have met our new Lion, Mary Jo Brett, as she has come to our parties and social engagements with her husband, Bill.  When she knew that women were now welcome in the Newtown Lions, she didn’t waste much time before she applied.  She brings a lot of organizational skills to the club.  She has been in charge of various committees and organizations such as the Kentwood Lake Homeowners Association and as a board member of the Kent Library.  A science teacher for thirty-five years, she also was involved writing science curriculum.  She has three children, Richard, Linda and Judith and five grandsons.  No pretty pink dresses in Mary Jo’s future it seems.  Always active in church groups, she currently works at the Newtown Congregational Church thrift store, the Cornerstone, twice a week.  From the above, it should be obvious that Mary Jo will be a good asset to our group ! She will do a lot more than just break the ice!

            You may also have met our second new Lion, that is if  you like to have a nip now and then.  And that is because new Lion, Steve Small, is one of the mainstays at Yankee Liquor.  Steve after graduating from the University of Delaware and getting an M.B.A. at Pace, spent a little time in corporate America.  Not finding that attractive he took a chance and with a friend opened a pub in West Virginia.  He has been in the spirits business every since, later owning his own liquor store in Newtown and then working at Yankee.  As he says “wine is my hobby as well as vocation and avocation.”  Steve is married to Sue and has two children, Eddie and Karen .When he is not involved in his “vocation and avocation” he enjoys most sports especially the Steelers and Pirates.  Recently he has been glued to the television set watching U Conn basketball.  Steve appears already to be an enthusiastic new Lion! 

            A third new member of the pride is Jim Ondak.  Jim hails from snowy Buffalo, New York, and attended school there  As a high school student  he loved all sports but especially baseball.  Graduating as the valedictorian, he was welcomed to college where he majored in physics.  He has had a variety of jobs ranging from software development to software engineering and project management.  Among the prominent corporations he has worked for are Perkin Elmer, Taunton Technology, Dunn and Bradstreet and IBM.  Along the way he has had a part in many creative endeavors.  For example, he was in on the development of lasik surgery.  Another high light was helping to build a digital imagining system to analyze our famous documents: the Constitution, the Bill of Rights and the Declaration of Independence.    More currently he developed the project management curriculum at the University of New Haven.  Although he has moved on, he is proud that the course work and major that he worked so hard to create is going strong.  Jim has an unusual hobby and that is knitting.  Once his wife, Andrea, knit a skiing cap for him but something was wrong with it so he asked her to knit another.  Somehow she didn’t get around to it so he picked up the needles and let them rip.  Scarves, socks and sweaters and other things  have come off those needles. A major hobby that he shares with Andrea is cycling.  They can’t wait to get on those bicycles and hit the roads this spring.  Last summer they logged  2000 miles.  With such a resume it is apparent that Jim will bring his energy and creative talents to our club.  We welcome him!

      Bringing a Refugee Family to Our Area


The Newtown Congregational Church and Trinity Episcopal Church have launched a committee to try to bring a refugee family to our area.  There is a great Connecticut group, IRIS,  based in New Haven who has been given the mandate by the federal government to find refugee homes.

            But who are the refugees?  They are people from war  torn countries whose homes have often been destroyed or they live in terror.  They are carefully vetted by about seven different agencies of the Federal Government. The process takes almost two years.  It is such a wonderful humanitarian thing to do that Lions International has been promoting it. 

            IRIS says that their aim is to have the refugee family totally independent in six months and this usually happens.  Refugees have access to some state and federal funds and food stamps but the sponsoring organizations and others need to provide about $5000.  A good bit of this money would go for first and last month’s rent.

            So, I’m hoping our Lions Club will help this worthy humanitarian endeavor in two ways.  I would like a line item put in the budget to help with the cost.  Secondly, I hope Newtown Lions would help with  the various committees.  Gary Frey and Dave Landau have already agreed to serve on the housing committee.

            The main committees are:

A. Helping to find transportation for the family,                                                                         B. Helping the bread winner to find a job,                                                                                  C. Helping the family to find housing and furnishings                                                                                               D. Getting the kids, if there are any, enrolled in school,                                                      E. Helping them to get a drivers license                                                                                                        F. Helping them learn English,                                                                                                     G.  Transporting them to various appointments such as their doctors’ exams done free by the Yale New Haven hospital.                                                                                                                                              

Those are the main committees that need to be manned.  If you volunteer, you will join others who have also agreed to work on this one issue.  If you can help with any of these issues, please call me at 203-405-6392 or email me at    And wives can help, too!  Remember our motto—“We Serve”.

                                                                                    Your editor Gordon



    1. One nice thing about egoists is they don’t talk about other people.


    1. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?


    1. How is it possible to have a Civil War?


    1. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?


    1. If  you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?


    1. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

7.  Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God?